This is not my ceiling
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize