Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
