rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
