We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This is my gift to your gina
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
