I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
