You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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