This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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