make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
