"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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