Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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