He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize