The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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