Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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