no one should ever give us hovercrafts
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
