it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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