I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
