How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
