Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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