Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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