You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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