mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
