The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
