cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
