Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
