I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
NoShamevember. You game?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
