Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
