So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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