So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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