I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
