i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
