ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
