I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
