I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
