Your mouth is God's brothel.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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