I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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