you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
