Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
