He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
