We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
