Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize