Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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