it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
