tell your sister to shave her snatch
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
