drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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