Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
