It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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