Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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