i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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