Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
