plz talk dirty to me
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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