So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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