You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize