It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
