the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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