Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
