OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
