I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
