they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
