Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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