She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
